I'm going back to wearing a mask. The truth behind why I stop is just that it kinda happened and I got complacent. That's kinda it. Also, I didn't have masks that were comfortable, once I found some, the place where I used to buy them stop having them in stock and so... I just kinda stopped without realizing it.

I think one of the reason why I stopped is also social pressure. Some people will be weird about it. And it makes you stick out. I hate sticking out. I'm very autistic, so you would think I'd be very good at masking (humor folx), but I'm weirdly rigid about not sticking out and trying to be discreet, needing to blend in, these types of things. I've been forced to conform so much in my life that I am now desperate to do so. It sucks. And I have to push against it.

I've been hearing some people complain about ableism for a while now, when it comes to masking. Both on the internet and outside of it. There's a lot of them on Fedi. They make posts with tags like: #covidisnotover and stuff like that. And uh, yeah, these people are one hundred percent correct. Wearing a mask is about protecting yourself, yes, but also, and mostly, others.

Some people have weaker immune system and contracting something like COVID will fuck them up. It's easy to get arrogant, thinking it doesn't concern you, but first off, we're a society, it's not about you, it's not about me, it's about us ("virus" type statement, I know, I know), let's not be selfish here. And second, even if we're going to take it from a more self-centered approach, you may have an average immune system but that can change real quick if you contract COVID and get absolutely destroyed by it. Some diseases you get and you forget about the bad memory two weeks later, some stick with you and alter you forever. COVID is often the latter.

I've heard and read fellow trans people out there who don't go to events they could go to because they know that people won't be masked there. This is something I have heard in real life and it's a problem. These people don't feel welcomed, they don't feel accommodated and they don't feel safe within their own community. It makes me sad. I don't want that for my siblings (and beyond, of course).

So I finally got my paws on some masks and I'm going to make it a regular thing now, and strive to make it a habit. In a crowd? Masked. In a tram/bus? Masked. In a shopping store? Maskekd. At an event? Masked.

The reason why I decided to make the change is, well, everything I stated above. I want to make people safer, but also, myself. I have a lot of problems in my life and I could very much do without contracting an illness that could fuck me up, thank you. But in general, ableism is everywhere and I want to do what I can to help with that. By masking, I'm sending a social signal to others that may indicate them to do the same, hopefully. I'm naive. But still.

Others reasons are more focused on myself. Here's some of it:

• Wearing a mask during the early 2020s is a big thing that made me pass as a woman before I was out of my egg. Wearing a mask just makes me pass better, it's a simple trick, and, as a trans person of the feminine girl variety, I like being called ma'am.
• Continuing with the dysphoria, it just so happen that sometimes, that specific area of my face is a big dysphoria pain point for me. Covering it just alleviates some of that dysphoria and therefore, makes existing outside more tolerable.
• Remember what I said about my autism and conforming? Well, while this is kind of annoying that I stick out like that, I've come to appreciate some of its benefit. Wearing a mask makes me feel more isolated, in a good way. I feel more contained, more in my bubble and I feel like people are less inclined to come talk to me and leave me be in my autistic bubble. That's a huge one for me, that feeling of protective bubble.

There you go. I'm gonna try and make that a habit and mask a lot more often until it just becomes a normal thing for me.

#mask #masking #covid #covid19 #covidisnotover #trans #transfem #dysphoria #autism

@truthaddictvt comrades, is it treatlerite to be physically unable to leave your house

@spycrab taking care of your mental health (including by having fun) is also a need, like your need to eat

very relatable line of thought though, I struggle with this too sometimes