this last week has brought me to the realiation that I'm a lot more sad than I thought I was. I've known I've been burned out and stressed from school, but I hadn't noticed quite how deep the grief from managing this balancing act between my identity and my relationship with my family has grown these last few months. I'm on a trip with my mom and my older brother at the moment, and the feeling of being so close to being me and yet so unable to push through is excruciating. On top of all that now with Trump coming back into office and Project 2025 expected to move ahead, I'm also under a time crunch to go ahead and get the hell out of the US, which I can't imagine how I'll manage financially at this point.

I don't see why being me is such a big deal, I guess. ptoo.

maybe i can convince my endocrinologist to let me stockpile my HRT in case I lose access to it in Louisiana?