My problem with dess knight isn’t that there’s better candidates, it’s how … forced it feels. Regurgitated. People treat it as incontrovertible truth and try to shoehorn it into other theories which, sure, might have some weight to them, but still, simpler explanations exist and they don’t rely on Dess being the knight, whether or not she’s been corrupted by darkness (not how it works?) or if her soul has been separated from her body.

December was for me, and probably many others, the first candidate I was introduced to. Most of the evidence is “just look at it” and that’s not necessarily a bad analysis but it’s very shallow. It fails to understand the game on a level deeper than simple pattern recognition. The jokes about Undertale fans not being able to read are true and they take the shape of people spewing “December is DEFINITELY the knight!”

Any deeper reading of the knight, of what we actually know about Dess, and so so many small details point the knight’s identity AWAY from being her. Like, first off, why would she be doing all that. To me it feels like the entire point of the conspiracy is to find her. “findher.ogg” some might say. If she disappeared, how is she simultaneously the knight! This is the question that proponents of the theory just flat out fail to answer, in my opinion. If the knight was feral or acting out of instinct, why then would it take Undyne into the bunker? Why would it do… everything that happens in the dark sanctuaries? So then if the knight isn’t a feral December, why not just cut the fucking act? They found her! Plus, Noelle clearly misses her, what’s the point of making her believe her beloved sister is gone?

(shittalking) The entire theory simply falls apart under scrutiny. To me, is indicates a shallow understanding of the game and of December as a character, as well as a failure to engage with the game beyond just the visuals and vibes. It also shows a deep lack of engagement with alternate theories—so much of the evidence for her is just general evidence that it’s someone in the Holiday family!!

But that’s about it for my dessknight theory slander. Asrielknight ftw

I gave my robot a massive cock , call that an Android Package .