Conversation
wyatt 
wyatt@soc.megatokyo.moe
Edited 1 month ago
i was the kind of child who wouldn't play too rough with toys because i didn't want to damage them or hurt their feelings, and i mostly play deltarune according to similar principles. Not because i necessarily see the characters as toys per se, but because real or no, i don't want to hurt them. And them being imaginary wouldn't change the actual guilt I'd feel for purposefully hurting them because of what that says about me. I don't want to be that kind of person.
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similarly i don't think my desire to hear megalovania is strong enough that i'd be able to condone doing the evil route in undertale
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it is a shame that i won't be able to see some parts of the game holding to those principles but i really don't think the "but what would happen if?" urge is strong enough in me.
There have been other games where I've considered doing "oh just one or two cruel/mean things that could help me/just to see what would happen" - fallout 1 and 2 are examples. And I don't think I have *ever* been able to make myself do anything worse than pickpocketing random people, even if I stand to gain a lot by doing it and feel confident I have the power to.
I haven't even used save-scumming to do it. I just don't want to. Even if they wouldn't remember it it'd hurt me to do it
There have been other games where I've considered doing "oh just one or two cruel/mean things that could help me/just to see what would happen" - fallout 1 and 2 are examples. And I don't think I have *ever* been able to make myself do anything worse than pickpocketing random people, even if I stand to gain a lot by doing it and feel confident I have the power to.
I haven't even used save-scumming to do it. I just don't want to. Even if they wouldn't remember it it'd hurt me to do it
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In daggerfall and morrowind it's the same way, even there, in a sociopathy simulator, I just can't do it. GTA is hilarious to watch others being comically evil in (my brother for instance), but I don't even think I could make myself do it there
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i think that's a big difference between me and my best friend, who normally does a good route the first time through but then does all sorts of weird or mean things on future playthroughs
i just don't have the guts to do that i think
i just don't have the guts to do that i think
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there's something to be said for "freedom" but freedom at the cost of everything I care about isn't really freedom for me. I want freedom I can share with others I care about
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there's also a distinction between freedom TO do something, and actually wanting to do it. And a further distinction between the kind of freedom where you see others as toys that you have the ability to mess with, and the kind where you don't want to be someone else's toy and want to control your own destiny. I hold much more respect for the latter.
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The world does not revolve around me, as convenient as that could be. and it shouldn't revolve around anyone else, either. But maybe we can all ride around on it together and get on and off where we want.
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yes i am talking about the deltarune freedom theme here, which i am almost certain is a thing because i've seen the "the air crackles with freedom" line multiple times, and several other repeated phrases/motifs ('the world revolves around you') in an almost homestuck-esque fashion. It keeps happening.
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liberation is more important than absolute freedom, although i do not deny the interplay between the terms they are different
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absolute freedom gives you trillionaires and poverty
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I guess this is sort of the idea behind "until all of us are free, nobody is."
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@wyatt i like liberatory as the word like you've chosen here. i also really like the theory of positive and negative freedoms which to me immediately neutralizes libertarian absolutism
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semi-vague deltarune spoiler (chapter 3)
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meanesst thing i've done to kris so far is the sword route in chapter 3 and i felt bad about that but was also locked in and did my best to make it as not-horrible for them as possible. i also did not terrorize kris further when given the opportunity because i really don't want that for them. Moved towards them, saw how they reacted, and turned around before i could scare them further since i didn't mean to be threatening but evidently was
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re: semi-vague deltarune spoiler (chapter 4)
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i don't know if i trust kris and i'm fairly sure kris doesn't trust me, but i'm trying to bridge that gap as much as i can by being gentle with them and hopefully doing things they want. it's a relationship we both have to work on and i'm hoping i can sway them that i mean no harm, if they are afraid of me (they have every right to be)
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teacher ciat
ciatmusings@raru.re
semi-vague deltarune spoiler (chapter 3)
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@wyatt pursuing the weird route on ch2 did a number on me alright. it don't matter that it's data, or that you made amends on another save. i try to remember the things it asks you to do and i feel the dread in my chest. poor children
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re: semi-vague deltarune spoiler (chapter 3)
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@ciatmusings never pursued it, likely won't in the future. Might look up what happens but I won't have any part in doing it
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semi-vague deltarune spoiler (chapter 4)
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@ciatmusings what i would give to be able to establish bidirectional communication with the characters without being a nightmarishly horrible player...
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