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Edited 21 days ago
transmisogyny
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one of the many issues with "male socialization" / "female socialization" rhetoric as it applies to trans people is the fact that those two phrases, more often than not, serve as a more palatable stand-in for "socialized predator" and "socialized victim," respectively.

what this rhetoric says to trans people assigned male at birth is: "you are a predator by default, and you need to actively unlearn being a predator if you want to convince others that you're safe to be around."

what it says to trans people assigned female at birth is: "you have not been socialized to hurt others, therefore you can only be hurt by others - especially the predatory AMABs."

that these two assumptions line up more-or-less perfectly with TERF tropes about "predatory men in women's spaces" and "innocent women being groomed into the Trans Cult," respectively, seldom if ever seems to be an idea that the theory's proponents seriously sit down to examine.

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re: transmisogyny
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@YKantRachelRead "socialized male" is when most of my friends growing up were girls and I had phases where I legit hated boys and would write lengthy vent essays about how horrid and brutish they were and how much better everything would be if women had all the power, hmmm 🤷‍♀️
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re: transmisogyny
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@patchuun omg same 😂 I hated boys and always wanted to be friends with girls, but girls never wanted anything to do with me.

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transmisogyny
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@YKantRachelRead

Right on target, as always.

And I can't see that parallelism as innocent. Not even in the case of the handful of apparent non-TERFs we blocked last night.

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re: transmisogyny
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@angelastella if it's the same poster I'm thinking of, her argument was literally, "my experience is that a lot of trans women behave like men."

which is... surprising, especially coming from another transfem, because normally that's saying the quiet part out loud.

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@sierra @YKantRachelRead this "socialisation" is always going to be tough on kids who either can't or don't want to conform to whatever groupthink the kids have come up with. I think in my case, it was being good at the wrong things, studies instead of sports, and not wanting to pretend to be bad at the first to fit in, and also not having much enthusiasm about being sufficiently crude, or cruel to other misfits (I'd like to think, at least.)

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re: transmisogyny
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@YKantRachelRead "As it applies to trans people" is a critical phrase here and I really don't like what that reveals (about society, I completely agree with your point.)

I used the phrase "male socialization" a lot about my (cis fem) self growing up (in a time trans people and issues weren't really part of the default cultural imagination) to explain a lot of ways that I didn't fit into extremely gendered southern lady defaults of how to behave (which could be shorthanded as "Being everyone else's Supportive Mommy.") And socially we're only JUST getting to the point where we actually bother discussing how boys are often socialized toward doing little to zero kinkeeping/ relationally-supportive emotional labor, vs. just the presence of toxic masculinity in their socialization. So I still find it a useful framework(… mostly when discussing population-wide trends among cis folks.)

But nearly any time wider society bothers to discuss trans issues it is IMMEDIATELY a leap to discussing the specter of predators, do not pass go, do not collect $200. There's almost zero other context ever given for even bringing trans people up.

(Insert muffled screaming.)

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