Talked with a friend about Mint until I told her 'hey, there's this .jar file that I don't know how to execute, no biggie tho', then we spent 45 mins trying to figure out how to run it, first by using chmod +x and then by changing directory on the terminal.
It was very fun to have Discord and the terminal open to input her commands right as she sent them. I love her for that. Friendship really is magic.
It turns out, there's a browser alternative that works right away.