Why I stopped ordering food delivery:

Modest Meal..... $14.99
Drink.... $3.43

"I will enjoy the Modest Meal and a drink." 😇

Bill:

Modest Meal $14.99
Drink. $3.43
Tax $2.80
Service Fee $5.35
Fee ... $2.80
Area Charge ... $6.90
Delivery ... $4.80
Just Go With It Fee $3.04
Movement Charge? ...$2.94
Delivery Fee... $2.80
Snakes ..$2.34
Vendor Notion $2.80
Just Because Fee $4.81
Ghost Removal $6.03
Vibes ... $1.03
Fee Tax $6.30

Total: 65.56
Tax Again For Some Reason: 11.62

True Total: 77.19 😲

I kind of stole this joke from someone who posted it as an image without a description, but I changed it up.

I *would* have just boosted that post, but the image wasn't described and as I started to write alt text I thought of some changes to make... so the moral is if you wanna get boosted include the alt text!

@futurebird I stopped for similar reasons, and also because I'm sick of trying to work out whether or not a place is a ghost kitchen implanted by the delivery company itself these days I just get food straight from local places

@tobi

With the local places it's kind of the other extreme. I call "Otto" and he asks if I'm sick (which I am if I'm ordering delivery)

He tells not *not* to tip his nephew, "same price for you!" but I tip him anyways.

@futurebird awh Otto ❤️❤️❤️

@tobi

The nephew is a good kid, but Otto always seems disappointed in him and since he knows I'm a math teacher he always tells me how poorly he did on his last math test. Poor boy.

😆

@futurebird damn imagine getting shredded by your uncle to the customers 🫠 I'm wishing the nephew good luck and improvements in his test scores!!

@tobi

The entire Bronx knows this poor kids grads. Otto, give the kid a break!

@futurebird
on the one hand, they came with snakes.

But on the other hand, they removed your ghost??? Rude.

@llewelly

That reminds me. I forgot the "vibes."

@futurebird Exactly. I will still order delivery pizza from a local joint when the mood is upon me. They charge a flat $5 delivery fee. That's fair.

But DD et al? No.

@jmax @futurebird

I've found ChowNow to be pretty decent at this compared to the alternatives.

There are 2 fees: a delivery fee that goes to the restaurant and something they call a "support local fee" (stupid name but whatever) which goes to them in the place of a commission to the restaurant.

@gbargoud @jmax

I still prefer Otto and his bad-at-math-quizzes nephew.

@futurebird
no more ordering sus vibes veggies from that place!

@futurebird yeah by the time i finish preparing the alt text it becomes infinitely easier to just post that instead

saves everyone's bandwidth too

@tobi

BREAKING NEWS:

Sources (Otto) say that his nephew has completed the online math practice he was assigned for summer work and earned an A!