i wanh nap time

holy shit they killed the president

rt if u think elys cute

our philosophy on what BPD people should do, js largely do what is healthiest for everyone. depending on where the bpd person is at mentally, that may mean making decisions to focus on self, or focus on others.

I'm thinking about this a lot because of how a, I guess not so recent anymore breakup affected us we definitely did things wrong in the relationship, and a part of that that made that worse was that we weren't possible to be confronted about it easily, because of cluster-B. I do generally take the side of internalising it as our fault, since we agree it happened. It was pretty hard on us initially and gave us a lot of very deep seated insecurity about our personality fundamentally, and how safe it was. once we mostly got over the break up, though, the internalisation became something easier to manage and less destabilising. I figure that at the end of the day it's better to grow where we can and accept that and forgive

it's something i am really proud of. the ability to recongise what we did wrong and be honest about ourselves with it, so soon, without taking it personally and being able to take care of our emotions in the process. I'm really proud of being able to internalise something without letting that control me

being able to say "yeah I fucked up, ans I wanna change that, here is x y and z" is a skill that's really important to have in general, but especially for cluster-B people.

BPD has deep internalised trauma around being told no, or something otherwise confrontational. which is like. a huge problem for communication. and so the goal for us is to want to fix that, and how to achieve that.

for me, it's hard, and conflicting.

I'm only able to be healthy and strong when I have lots of support from others, and a strong self confidence and self love. Since I'm BPD, I sometimes feel like I need a base foundation in order to build this ; I need love from others.

So, being socially involved is really important. At least for us. it enables us to be so much stronger emotionally than we otherwise would be able to on our own. So much more confident and capable. This is true for the entire population on the planet, but I feel it holds a special weight for BPD people, since they're stricken with insecurity about being bad for others.

That's the thing though, BPD people are often harmful to others, unless they've established systems of self reflection and healthy autonomy, based in a stable idea of self love and self confidence.

And that's a dilemma.

We want BPD people to be able to handle negative things, but in order to do that, they need to be healthy and have lots of loving friends. But in order to have lots of friends, they need to be healthy and able to handle negative feedback. friendship is a two way street.

Usually the way this is circumvented is people being friends anyways, or being friends in such a way that doesn't trigger the bpd challenges. Rarer, although still possible, is circumventing through first being very independent and self confident through self reflection.

the probable correct answer at the end of the day is to just Do Your Best and figure it out case by case